The Wipeout Experience

The interest started on June 10th, 2009. It was a Wednesday night and Jess and I were getting ready to watch our evening TV shows. We were just flipping through channels when we came across a summer reality show. An Asian guy named Andrew Neinu gets on and starts dancing. When the two announcers start calling him "Tiny Dancer" I was intrigued. Andrew started going through an elaborate obstacle course and I definitely had my "I can do that" and "I'm kind of like that guy" moment. We ended watching the rest of the program thoroughly entertained. It was filled with Banana Hammocks, the sucker punch wall and big red balls. Later that night I went online to see what I could find out about the program and saw that they were accepting applications for the next season. I quickly filled out the info, uploaded some photos and really didn't expect anything. It was fun to think about it though. Meeting hottie Jill Wagner would be pretty cool. We ended up adding Wipeout to the regular TV watching schedule.

Then during the first week of August I got a call from the Wipeout Casting Office asking for my availability. I agreed to come in for an audition ASAP which was August 10th. I was very excited that they called but read somewhere not to get my hopes up because they filter through thousands of people before they get the 24 on each episode. Now I needed to get ready and show off my personality. I tried to think of what I could do to stand out and the best I came up with was to wear my white suit with an orange polo. Kind of weak but least I could try to be memorable by hurting their eyes. They ask you what your nickname is going to be and I thought I'd try to be a little funny by being "The guy who doesn't work there." All I could think about was that where ever we would go, someone would always ask me questions as if I was an employee. I know, pretty dumb. When I arrived at the MysticArts Productions office there was already a group of people filling the waiting room in all kinds of costumes and make up and they had chairs lined up in the hallway. How many people were they expecting? There was a couple in a tux and wedding dress, one guy dressed up in red white and blue like Rex-Kwon-Do from Napoleon Dynamite and some cougars who were just trying to be hot. I sat in the waiting area for about 15 minutes before I was called in. When I got called into the interview room there was a video camera set up, a couple of assistants on computers, and the casting producer. He asked questions like, "Why do you want to be on the show?" and "What are you going to do with the money if you win?" I just tried to be as animated as possible and although I thought I was over the top, I didn't think I did anything spectacular. As I walked out I was expecting to get a thank you and we'll call you if interested but to my surprise the producer let me know that I had made it through the hoops and was on to the next step. Was I on the show? Not really because as I walked into the next room I noticed that everyone who went in before me had made it too. After filling out a ton of paperwork I was told that if the Casting Producers were happy with the video audition then I would be invited to complete a physical and then thrown into the pool of available candidates. Not there just yet but needless to say I started to watch a lot of old Wipeout episodes on YouTube and HULU.

Monday, August 24th I got a call from the casting office and they wanted to schedule my physical. Woohoo! They said it is fairly routine where they just want to check that your heart and body can take the physical challenge as well as pass a drug screening though if you test positive that is not necessarily a disqualification. I went and passed with flying colors. Not in just yet but it's getting closer. Next they would have to confirm that they like what they see on the video and then schedule the taping. September 14th I got an email saying that the show producers are working on filming scheduling and I am definitely getting more confident but know that I should not feel secure until I am actually in front of a camera. Another email a week later asks for my measurements and what I would wear as a contestant. I had only thought about this a little bit but after seeing a contestant wear a shirt with a picture of his pet bunny on it I had an idea. Whatever I wore had to be orange and maybe I could put a photo of Joseph and Gabriella so I could be cool "Uncle Joel." That would be my persona and hopefully I could get some sympathy points with the show producers. Then September 23rd I got the email: Wipeout Show Info (Oct. 1, 5, 23) I was scheduled.

Thursday, October 1st came fast and even faster came the 4:30am wake up call to arrive at the shoot location by 6am. The filming location is at a ranch in Canyon Country which is about 45 minutes away from Pasadena. No guests were allowed so I made the drive alone. Production assistant, Mary Leist met us in the parking lot as we all arrived and walked us to a packed little bungalow with 24 contestants and two alternates. Although we all wanted to do really well against everyone, for the most part people were very friendly and open. Lots of talking and sharing interview stories. Contestant Producer, Rich Liest came into the room and let us know how it was to all go. They needed to finish filming the previous episode due to something on the course breaking. "As soon as possible" we would be given a walk through of the first obstacle course called The Qualifyer. We would be randomly assigned an order to do the course and to be fitted for ankle braces, life vests, and helmets. As they waited and were getting ready we would also be asked to tape an interview with co-host Jill Wagner where we were given an opportunity to show off our personality. It was 7am in the morning so we thought we might be starting on the course by 9am but little did we know. I was chosen to go 4th which was fine by me- get it over early. The girl who was picked to go first was pretty nervous and seemed almost scared. About a half hour later I went to my interview with Jill which was quick and relatively painless. Apparently in my application I said I wanted to be a comedian so Jill asked me to tell her a joke. I blanked. Afterwards I kicked myself for not being prepared for the opportunity. I was concentrating so hard to go into the interview being "Favorite Uncle" and not funny guy that I didn't prepare anything else. Dang it! They fed us burritos, water, coffee and some other snacks which was fine though the beverages made for many nervous bathroom breaks for most of us. The morning just kept rolling along and we met and talked with the other contestants. There was Cheska the bubbly Tahitian Martial Artist. Tim was a war veteran who was Mr. Clean. Holly the tall Swedish hottie. A peculiar pirate lady with swords, a tattooed and pierced goth zombie guy. Then a PA got a call on the walkie talking that they were preparing The Qualifyer. It was about 10:30am and we were doing the walk though. Needless to say everyone got excited and nervous. We walked from the trailer to the top of the Wipeout start and gathered to listen to the Executive Producer Matt Kunitz. He let us know how we were to proceed through the course, where the time penalties were and where to be safe. He reminded us that our time will be slowed if you fall into water or mud and also to be very animated when we did fall. After the walk through the nerves were primed. That meant the first 5 needed to be ready to go. We put on our ankle braces and vests and sat in the "On Deck Room." That was nerve wracking. We might have been in the room for a half hour until the message came through that we were breaking for lunch. That meant that we wouldn't start for at least another hour or so.

The lunch break of beef and chicken stir fry was good and but afterward that things seemed to move fairly quickly. Around 1:30pm we were asked to get back in the On Deck room and then petite blondie Kristyn was the first to go. She was escorted to the top off the start, the horn sounded and then she was off. When my turn came I was tingly and excited. I made it up to the start and saw that the girl before me was still finishing the course. I was instructed to wait under the arch and give my shout out. I think I said "Joe and Gabriella you better appreciate this!" After a countdown the horn went off and I was on my way.

After running down the start ramp, the first part of the course was a set of three doors where you had to choose one to go through. The time penalty here would be only if you didn't open the doors to deal with what's on the other side. I had chosen door three hoping that being closest to the cameras I would get some good face time. Little did we know that it didn't matter which door you chose, the result would be the same: a swinging hammer to your chest. I don't recall if I got to the doors to pull them open as I was immediately hit with a blow to my chest that knocked me back off the platform and into the mud. I was so disoriented that I didn't know where to get out of the pit. I looked up at Rich who was going to guide me through the entire course who told me to swim to the far end. Lot's of time lost here. I was helped out of the mud by Matt because there weren't stairs or a rope to get out and then a short run to the Sucker Punch Wall. I was already tired.

On to the Sucker Punch Wall which seemed the same as we've seen on previous episodes but I should have been prepared for something different. The time penalty on the sucker punch wall was if you did not touch the silver hand hold in the upper middle of the wall so that is what I was concentrating on. I started on the wall and was fairly successful until I got to the silver hand hold. Apparently by grabbing that handhold you are in a perfect position for a spray of paint into your face. My paint was yellow and totally took me by surprise. I almost said, "What the f***" when it happened but I was concentrating so hard on getting past the qualifyer quickly that I really didn't think to talk at all. Milliseconds later I was in the mud from a powerful jab to my left shoulder spinning me off the thin platform. The mud here was thick and I lost precious time again. Not going well. Up next was the Big Red Balls.

I had thought about what I was to say at the Big Red Balls and came up with "Big Red Balls, meet the Grande Balls!" Not sure if I said it loud enough but I was dealing with a body full of mud and a face full of paint and I really didn't see the big balls coming. I tried to use my inertia to get me through but the Big Red Balls were different this time as they alternated lowering and raising. I don't think I made it past the second ball. The fall was far and the water was cold and I was totally out of breath when I finally made it back up to the surface. I was upset that I didn't get farther on the obstacle and also mad that I fell to the left of the balls and not the right where the cameras were and the swim would be shorter. After some swimming I made it to the ladder and was very tired climbing up to a new thing, the Shake-a-Later.

As you jump off the raised platform you arrive to a crescent shaped pedestal that had a box in the middle. All you had to do was get across but as you got on the pedestal began to shake and I immediately slipped and fell to my knees. I could hear the course directors instructing me to stay on my feet and I tried to but was knocked back down. It took everything I had to not slip and fall off completely into the cold water below. I really didn't want the time penalty, or have to swim again. With a little luck I made it across. In between the Shake-a-later and the final obstacle was a long bridge and here we were instructed to talk it up. I was pretty spent by this time so all I could muster was a stop in the middle and a lean towards the camera. I hope they put in the pose. Just a short hop to the Cheese Grater and I would be done.

The bridge led to a swing that you had to jump onto and then time another jump through a spinning wheel with holes. I thought this would be pretty easy but when I got to the swing I noticed that the jump to the finish was farther than it seemed. I paused to time one of the holes but thought that I was wasting time and made a jump for it. I don't think I even touched the wheel. I desperately swam to the edge and the finishing red dot where I was surprised to be met by Jill who informed me that I was the first person to make it safely past the Shake-a-Later. I didn't hear too much else and was gasping for breath.

I walked a few feet and had to keep my hands on my knees as my throat was burning and I was the inhaling and exhaling as deeply as I could. A little dizzy but not wanting to show weakness, I said I was fine a slowly walked back to the contestant trailer. I sat down and was directed to drink a bottle of water as my coughing disabled any means of communication. I didn't have any injuries except for some scrapes from the mud but I was completely exhausted. I slowly gathered a change of clothes and proceeded to take a long cold shower while also trying to do a little laundry. Mud was everywhere and a little yellow paint was on my undershirt. I coughed the entire time. Since I was one of the first people to go I had a good amount of time to rest and I was needing every second of it. I didn't think that they would make us do round two that afternoon since it took them so long to get round one started. As I tried to recover I ate some popcorn, drank a few bottles of water and shared some Fuji apple Mentos with Tim and the semi pro football player. People were slowly coming back in different levels of disarray. With as much trouble as I had on the course I couldn't tell who did well or not. I was just hoping that I finished in the top twelve so I could advance. I was somewhat confident that I had but you never know.

During this wait they gave us $10 for gas. When we started getting to the later contestants we heard rumors that we were going to go straight into the second round. I didn't believe it until they started telling people who just finished to stay in their gear. Next they started telling everyone to put on their gear and be ready with ankle braces. I was a little scared. It was a short time after the last person finished before Matt the Show Producer came back with the finish time list. He instructed us that we will be going directly into the second course. He started reading off names. I came in third. I gathered with the others whose names were called and before we could say goodbye to the bottom twelve we were walking off to do the walk through of the second round and get fitted with helmets that had microphones. It was pretty cool to be advancing but I was sincerely worried that I was still recovering from the effort before and wouldn't be able to put up a good fight. There was nothing I could do so I just went with it. Round two is usually a version of The Sweeper where the twelve contestants stand on individual pillars and jump over an arm swinging in a circle. This was similar in that we would have to jump over a sweeper arm but different in that we all had to cross the sweeper to get to the other side. We would all start on a long platform and need to negotiate what was called Double Cross.

The Double Cross Sweeper was four arms rotating in a counter clockwise motion. Three of the arms are grey and one is red. You needed to jump from the starting platform onto a grey arm and jump off to the finishing platform from the lone red arm. Upon exit you need to jump to a platform that is randomly timed to tilt back and forth and then across to the ramp down. Oh, and while you are negotiating the colored arms you need to avoid being knocked down by four red arms rotating in the opposite direction. The Double X. Only six contestants will advance and I wanted to be first over to maximize my TV time. They ferried us onto the starting platform on boats and we all climbed up to take a look from the top. We were pretty high up, the platform was a little wobbly and both crosses were moving really fast. It looked impossible. Before we knew it, the horn sounded and the game begun. Two people immediately jumped onto an arm and quickly fell off. I let the arms pass a few times and then I went for it and was quickly knocked into the water. I quickly swam back to the platform and tried again. It was futile and virtually impossible. There were plenty of good uncontrolled wipe outs and people were swimming back with high frequency. I could have talked more and been more vocal on my falls. After the producers were satisfied, they let us know that they were slowing down the arms. After a few more falls I was able to make it to the middle of the X and sat down to catch my breath (and be on TV a little by myself). I think people were yelling at me but I couldn't hear them. I eyed the red arm and tried to make a move but was quickly cut down. It was a long swim back so I tried to conserve energy doing the backstroke. When I got to the starting platform I noticed that Pastor Kurt had made it across and I was pissed that my plan of being first was thwarted. On my next attempt I was able to make it back to the middle and then quickly made it across as the second person to move on to the next round. I was so relieved. A third person made it, then a fourth and fifth. Someone lost a shoe. The last spot took a while as desperate people were bunching up in the middle of the X. Swedish Hottie Holly made a diving attempt but was caught at the tipsy platform in what Jill called the best wipe out ever. Finally Deborah the gym teacher made it a cross and the six to move on were set. I was so happy to be done but sorry that there were an additional six people going home. We were done for the day. One of the girls was sitting on the side of the pool and later we were told she might have torn her ACL. Round three would be taped the following Monday, three days away. Hopefully that would be enough recovery time. I was pretty intact save for some bruising on my left thigh, possibly done by multiple hits from a sweeper arm. I was also pretty happy with myself having made it to the next round.

Round three is where it gets serious. The four who passed this would go on to the Wipeout Zone to compete for the $50,000 grand prize. The call time was 7am which was only a little better. The six remaining contestants were myself, Audio Tech Frank, Gym Teacher Deborah, Apple Guy Jason, Pastor Kurt and Big Daddy Scott. Swedish Hottie Holly and Sporty Ashley were alternates. Some of us re-shot our interviews so that the producers could have more footage to work with from contestants that they knew would be advancing. I re-did mine adding that I used to work for a candy company and that being the favorite Uncle, the niece and nephew received plenty of treats. I think it was good. I hope they didn't notice that I got a haircut over the weekend. We waited just a little bit and were instructed that we had to wear wetsuits under our vests in addition to the ankle braces. Then we were gathered for the third round walk through and we all got nervous again. On the way to the obstacle we stopped at the audio trailer for our helmets. We were excited but nervous as we all tested our microphones. Then they walked us to the pool.

The third round consisted of an angled circular platform where the contestants would have to run on while jumping over sweeper arms. Failing to successfully jump the arm or avoiding it altogether and you were disqualified for that round. While this was happening there were items being thrown at you including inner tubes, beach balls and wet towels and at our backs a water fall to keep everything wet. There was also a silver ring that dangled over the edge of the platform with $1000 going to who could grab it successfully. This was definitely harder that it seemed and I had not seen anything like it before in the hundreds of hours of YouTube. After signing the rules sheet and answering our questions they drew names to place us on the platform and I was placed in the 5th spot, second closest to the water. That would not be good. The horn went off and the game was on. Most of the other contestants were larger people so I found myself being forced to the back dealing with people's legs clearing the red sweeper poles as I tried to jump them. Unfortunately the easiest place to jump the sweeper arms is the middle to front so I was quickly at a disadvantage. Before I knew it I was the first person knocked into the water. I was so disappointed. As I swam to the edge of the pool I tried to get a glimpse of how the successful people were staying on. One way was to be higher on the platform and farther from the water. Another was to be one of the first people jumping- do not fall back. Deborah the gym teacher was the last to be knocked off and the first to advance to the Wipeout Zone. Everyone was tired. We all realized that the longer you had to compete, the more tired you would be so to get out early was ideal. The next go around wasn't much better for our hero. Again I was bumped to the back and before I knew it, a sweeper arm passed and I was unable to jump over it. I disappointedly walked to the edge to jump off. Frank was the next to make it through and with two spots gone I was starting to worry. They reloaded us again, this time with four people trying to move on and although that meant there was more space on the platform, I was still the smallest person so positioning was key and I was at a disadvantage. We were all able to make it the first few passes by the sweeper arms but as we progressively got tired we knew it was only a matter of time. Someone fell off, then I was knocked off. Jason was the last to stay on and now there was only one spot left. The three of us left got quiet. As I walked back to the start, frustrated by my situation, I passed Ashley and Holly the two alternates for the round and they each gave me a vote of confidence. Only three people left on the machine. I was trying to focus and get serious as I got to the starting point- I was desperate and couldn't believe it was happening so fast. I reminded myself that there is only one shot left to make it to the next and final round and I need to lay it all out there if need be. On my way to the back of the obstacle where we loaded onto the platform I was stopped my an audio technician. Apparently they were having trouble with my microphone and had to switch out my helmet. I was the last to get on the contraption and feeling the nerves get the best of me. The platform started and were were all determined. I quickly repositioned myself at the front and fairly high on the platform to give myself the best chance of clearing each jump. The strategery seemed to be working and we all stayed on for a while and then something happened that forced me back. Maybe I caught the sweeper arm with my feet and it pulled me back. Maybe I lost concentration with a heavy wet towel slap in the face. Either way, I was quickly knocked to the back, out of play and I could feel the waterfall close to my back. I was on all fours looking at the soft grey platform when survival mode kicked in. I picked myself up and made a mad dash back to the middle and jumped over the sweeper arm like superman. I made it. Somehow I got back up and had to repeat the jump and fly several times to survive. I was quickly running out of steam. I think Kurt fell behind first and was taken out by the arm. That left Scott and I remaining on the revolving floor with lots of space but our energy meters running on fumes. I was loosing clarity and only recall getting hit by the red sweeper arm and getting knocked back. I briefly saw Scott stumble as well and we both went into the water. I couldn't tell if I landed first or second and I know that sometimes they have to review the film to know which is exactly what happened. Everyone was in the water waiting for the news and we were instructed to get out for the announcement as the are reviewing the tape. I was dazed. I was glad it was over but wondering if I gave enough to move on. I was spent and could barely hold myself up hands on knees as someone draped a dry towel over me. Then Matt the executive producer gave us the announcement. We hit the water at almost the same time but after analyzing closely they determined that Scott went under the sweeper arm while I went over. I had won on a technicality. I wasn't able to join the three others moving on with Jill for a last peek on camera but was very pleased to hear Jill say loudly into the microphone, "And Joel Grande is moving on to the Wipeout Zone!"

We walked back to the trailer trying to remember everything that we just saw and did. I was very happy and was trying to comprehend how close I came to not making the Wipeout Zone. I was satified with my effort and again we were all exhausted, at least Scott, Kurt and I who had to do the running and jumping four times. We walked past the contestants for the next episode with a sense of authority knowing that we were just a bit wiser than them and they had no idea what awaits. At the trailer we sat down, shoes muddy from the walk and wetsuits still dripping cold water. I struggled to get my suit off and was relieved and refreshed to change into dry clothes. Some of us went to lunch afterwards. It was nice to be able to share some time with your fellow combatants. When I got home I started to feel all the bumps and bruises the obstacle inflicted upon my aging body. My left shoulder felt like it was sprained from breaking too many falls. My wrists were sore from planting them on the unforgiving red sweeper bar each time I jumped over them. My left index knuckle was swelling, maybe from a random impact and I still had the bruising on my left thigh. I was in bad shape but I would have a little more than two weeks to recover. Hopefully that would be enough time. The next week I received a call from the production office letting me know that they postponed the final taping to Friday, October 30th. That gives me a few more days to heal. Hopefully I don't re-injure anything that would jeopardize Ironman Arizona in November.

The Wipeout Zone taping day came fairly quickly and my shoulder was still not 100%. I started taking Ibuprofen and and a cream Malanda used for her shoulder the last week or so to help. I wasn't able to do any swimming which might work against me but nothing I can do. That afternoon I started feeling a migraine coming and so I took some drugs and took a nap. That would actually help me later as it was going to be a long night. I drove out to the ranch and was greeted again by Mary Liest. We waled to the contestant trailer from the first day and it was filled with contestants. They would be taping three episodes this evening so there were twelve of us nervous finalists. I immediately greeted Deborah "P.E. Teacher" outside of the room and then saw Frank "Audio Technician" and Jason "Apple Guy" inside. It was 5:30pm and we settled in exchanging stories of how we all got to the final stage. Similar stories with slight differences like a swinging ball for the Double Cross obstacle. One thing I noticed was that they other groups of four had different personalities than ours. The 301 guys which also included one girl was very competitive and animated while episode 303 contestants were mostly quiet. I am glad our foursome was at least friendly knowing we each were going to do our best to beat each other. The first part of the evening was getting all of our gear ready: Full wetsuit with custom padded elbows and knees, life vests, mouth guards and ankle braces. We were told we would start with the walk through, finish gear coordination, and possibly start taping interviews and the course at 8:30ish. They were way off.

The walk through was exciting as we knew it would be filled with things we have never seen before. The start would be from a 40 ft. tube about two stories high. Inside was a moving walkway that shoots you out onto a trampoline and into the cold water. I had visions of hitting the trampoline and doing a forward flip but we were told we needed to land on our butts. Next we would swim to the ramp where we would deal with alternating stairs that were slick with gel. Afterwards you would go to the "spinning rocketship" that would climb up while avoiding sweeper arms. It finished with the gauntlet of the rotisserie, spinning blades and a teeter totter before landing on the finish platform. But for now, the waiting begins.

They took the first group of contestants around 9pm. It was very dark by this time and getting very cold. All we could see where the spectacular multi color light display coming from the staging lights. Very impressive. Minutes became hours and we were all struggling with the wait. Some were playing on their computors, others texting or talking to production assistants. Someone popped in a DVD of Supersize Me that was watched by a handfull of guys. There were discussions of over the counter drugs, addictive online games, iPhone lovers and haters, and DJ software. At 10:30pm we were told that they completed 301 interview and were taping the course. Unfortunately the progress was hampered by the crew lunch break about 11:30pm. They serves us pasta with chicken that was actually really good. A few moments later the PA's escorted the first episode contestants and sequestered them into the towel and wetsuit room used as the Qualifyer On Deck Room. We could hear their discussions but were told not to talk to them as we were not to be given any hints about the course as well as who their winner was. I decided to take a nap knowing that we had at least 90 minutes before they would grab us. I don't recall what time they told us to get ready but I was able to catch some Z's and be ready for our turn. Earlier they had randomly selected the order in which we would tackle the course and I was chosen fourth. I would have liked to have gone first to get some TV time with Jill but going last would be fine. Mary and Dan walked us up to the Wipeout Zone which was all litup and was really a sight. We would start with the interviews by the front of the pool area. We were all asked the same stuff and knowing that they don't show everyone's interviews I didn't really worry about it. One nice thing I got was Jill did say that I was her favorite. Maybe she told that to everyone. They walked us to to the pre-course lounge which was a shipping container with a rug, a sofa, a few chairs, lamps and heaters. This is where we would wait before taking us upstairs to view the start and get a final safety talk. For some reason they wanted to get a shot of us individually walking into the launch chamber and get our reactions. Felt very inefficient to do this they way they did and not just do it before you did your run. Anywhoo, they brought everyone up and we walked through the start with Ari. Man, we were pretty high up and we had to jump out through a curtain of water, onto the trampoline below. It reminded me of the ship launch from old school Battlestar Galactica or Buck Rodgers. We were all led down to the lounge again for more waiting. I don't think Frank was called up to start until 2:30am or so but I didn't have a watch so I couldn't tell. I wasn't tired since I had taken the naps throughout the day and I was fairly calm. Each of us would warm up a little in the shipping container before being called up. When it was my turn I was definitely excited and nervous. Walking up the scaffolding staircase I was trying to soak it all in and enjoy the moment. Ari wished me luck and then positioned me on the start marker. I was instructed to hold my mark and then the lights would change which would indicate the crew was ready. He would count me down from five and then go on the horn. It was all very surreal.

The horn went off and I quickly jumped on the moving walkway only to be quickly shot out into the night air. I bounced nicely off the trampoline and promptly through my mouthpiece out into the dirt. A short swim to the ramp up and I already could tell it was not going to be easy. I wobbled a little walking up the slope and then jumped up onto the first step. These were slippery and bopping up and down and to make it worse they shot us with water cannons. I made it to the top and down the other side but didn't make the platform on the other side and fell crashing into the water. I was already tired. I tried it again and hoped that they would slow it down a little. I don't think they did. When I fell the next time I was struggling to get up the slope. After more water canons I finally made it over. I was thinking that I used up a lot of time on the first real obstacle and I had two tons left to do. I made it down the sloped platform and paused to check out the spiral staircase around the spinning rocket ship and was immediately hit with a hard stream of water. I couldn't see. I tried to block it with my hands but they was too much going on and I needed to get going. I jumped up onto the first step and thought I was doing pretty well until one of the sweeper arms clipped my sending me swimming. After a tough climb up the ladder I was again hit by the water. Though I got a little farther and higher this time I was again taken out by a sweeper arm, falling way deep into the water. The third time was better and I was able to get to the top netting, spot the next platform and made the jump. It this point I was just pleased to be done with that section, all that was left was the gauntlet and the finish. At the start of the gauntlet is the rotisserie which is a spinning sweeper bar that's bent into a twisty knocker. I tried to go, maybe I would get luck, maybe I would learn how to beat it- neither of those happened. After getting pushed into the water I was disoriented and tired. The climb up the ladder was sapping all my energy as it was significantly taller here and it was on the farthest side of the pool. I tried again thinking this time I need to squeeze in between the empty spots in the twists. Same result. When I got to the ladder I was not able to pull myself up. I yelled at myself to keep going but I didn't have much left. When I finally got up I heard Rich on the bull horn saying that they were stopping me. Initially I thought my time was up and I would be pulled off the course, bummed that I was stopped but relieved that I was able to rest. What I was told that a part of the gauntlet was broken, they stopped my time, they were going to wait to fix it and then let me keep going. Then they changed their mind saying they were going to let me go up until the broken part and then stop me again to fix it. I started again thinking if they didn't stop me maybe I still have a chance to win. Unfortunately I was wrong. I got knocked into the water one more time and the Rich let me know that they were stopping me as I had lost. I laid on my back in the water for quite some time, trying to catch my breath and take what had just happened. I wondered who won. I wondered what my time was and how close I was. I hadn't even goten to the blades or the teeter totter so it must not have been close. I calmly backstroked to the front of the pool and Rich Leist helped me out. With hands on my knees I looked up to see Jill filming the "You just won Wipeout!" ending but no one was on the finish podium. Then I saw Jason and Deborah but no Frank and then I knew. The squirly, skinny audio tech won. Good for him. He is a good guy.

They asked if I was okay as they took my helmet and life vest off. Only my pride was hurt. I saw Mary and we exchanged looks of disappointment. As they walked us back to the trailer we passed the 303 guys walking up to the course. I was buzzing from the adrenaline rush and consoling myself that I gave it all I had. We changed into dry stuff but were all tired and just wanting to get out of there. Jason and Deborah were talking about the teeter totter but I couldn't relate. My shoulder wasn't an issue and luckily I didn't re-injure it.

It was a memorable experience and I loved every minute of it. I wish I had talked more and said something funny and cool and surprising and sincere. I can't wait to see us all perform next summer and will have some time to figure out how to record live TV. Maybe by then I'll have a DVR. I am so happy to have met a great bunch of people from the contestants to the production staff. Joseph and Gabriella better appreciate it but in the end I did it for the fun of it. Oh, and Jill said I was her favorite.